August 26th, 2010 Family
I have always believed in Family. I have always felt a desperate need to identify with my relatives, to know who they are, where they come from – to feel connected.
Funny thing is – I am not from a tight knit family. There are family rifts, lost communication and a lack of understanding of who we all are…
this is Part One…
DAD
My Dad’s side used to be closer. I have pictures to prove it. Pictures of me with my cousins. Pictures of my Dad’s siblings at my Grandparent’s farm. I used to go to Kindergarten with my cousin – people thought we were twins cuz we had the same last name, we were in the same class and we sorta looked abit alike. But then… something happened. I don’t know the entire story. I don’t think that I ever will. All I know is that we lost touch with practically everyone. My grandmother developed Alzheimers Disease and eventually was placed in a home specializing in such care. When she passed, we celebrated her life and that was the first time I had seen my aunts and uncles and cousins in many years. It was a very sad day in so many ways, and yet – for the girl who always wanted to feel connected – it was an amazing day. There were tears, but also laughter – as we remembered times on Grandma’s farm. There were hugs and exchanges of loving sentiments, and promises of get togethers in the very near future.
Fast forward a few years. My Aunt Shirley (my Dad’s eldest sibling) passed away after a brave fight with cancer. Again, there was a celebration of her life. Again, there were hugs, tears, laughter and promises of being closer and keeping in touch.
Fast forward one more time. Now, it was my own Father who passed on. 5th child of 6 – his passing was very unexpected. Once again, a celebration of his life. I felt the sincere love from my cousins and my Dad’s siblings. However, I knew the promises of staying in touch were hollow.
**a quick side note. My Uncle Larry has always attempted to stay in contact with me. We are more and more in contact as the years go by, and I am truly grateful for the gift of his friendship**
In the two years since my Dad left this world, I have felt that disconnect between his family very keenly. I have felt a great need to reach out, and to reclaim my family as my own. My Aunt Valerie (the baby of the family, and the only remaining girl) and her husband graciously designed our backyard landscaping. We had a couple of visits, and I thought I was on my way. However, we lost touch again.
I finally sent my request for family out into the universe – a prayer if you will – and am so pleased to report that it seems to have worked!!
On Friday the 3rd of September, I will be boarding a Delta flight (hopefully – standby is scary!!) and making my way to Raleigh, North Carolina. There, I will be met by my Uncle Ron. Ron is the 2nd son, and 3rd child. I will be spending 4 days with him and his lovely wife, my Aunt Linda. They have also amazingly arranged time with my cousins. I haven’t seen them in over 25 years, except for a few moments I got to spend with Ron at my Grandmother’s funeral. I am beside myself with excitement.
In the midst of planning this amazing trip, I received a phone call from Uncle Larry. He was going to be in Alberta – could we get together? I couldn’t help but say a big Thank You to the universe for bringing me this level of connection. Unfortunately I was away most of the time Larry was in town, but I did get to give him a hug as he arrived in Calgary (my crew was taking over the plane he flew in from) and I also had a quick but lovely visit with him today.
After speaking with Larry today, I have decided to renew contact with my Aunt Val. I am also going to send a note to my cousin Tracey and see if we can get together for a coffee or a glass of wine. I have been lucky this month – the universe has given me my family… now it’s up to me to grab hold and make the reconnections stick.
